Anger Management.

Sometimes I get mad. Most of the time I'm a pretty laid back individual, but sometimes...I get mad. It's usually over nothing, really. Well...not nothing. Stupidity pisses me off. It's the stupid shit people do that just makes me want to punch a wall. I'm not necessarily even talking about other people, because a lot of the time it's my own stupidity that I get mad about.

When I was a teenager, my temper was a source of amusement for my friends. They would intentionally do things they knew would throw me into an uncontrollable rage. Looking back, thats pretty damned funny. I guess I'm "The Angry Guy."

I'm finding it much harder to pull off at the age of 23, though. Some people at my work tell me I'm scary when I'm pissed. I guess I get a look on my face that just shouts "It would be a good idea to nag me about what my problem is." That is a gross misinterpretation of my body language. The message that I'm trying to get across is "If you say one fucking word to me, I swear I'll punch you in the throat." Seriously... am I the only person who just wants to be left alone when I'm wigging out? When 20 different people ask "Hey, Rob, whats wrong?," all that does is refresh my memory about whatever my deal is at that particular moment and a whole new flood of Hulk-Hormones are unleashed into my bloodstream.

Some people at work place bets on what time I will blow up that night. I think that is absolutely hysterical and depressing at the same time. So far, no one has made any money off of me that I know about.

A friend told me the other day that I need therapy. She's seriously concerned about it. I told her I thought that was a ridiculous idea, and that I wasn't harming anyone but myself when I get angry. Well, she cited examples of how I helped ruin other peoples nights because I was in such a vile mood. That really struck a chord in me. I really, honestly had never thought that me flipping out could affect someone elses night. I've really been watching myself since then. Whenever I feel some anger coming on I've got to contemplate "Is this really worth blowing up over." So far just asking myself that question seems to work. I've been rage free for a week now. It's been hard, though. I really think I need to start smoking weed again or something.