How to Play Guitar For Dummies Like You

I got my first guitar when I was starting the 6th grade. It was a beat-up piece-of-shit acoustic guitar that I hope I never have to play again- a no-name guitar that my dad received when he was 8 years old. The strings sat literally half an inch above the fretboard, so I had to sit it in my lap and press down until my fingers bled just to make a clear sound. But, I kept at it, and my parents bought me a sweet Kramer electric guitar- perfect for attempting to play the Metallica and Megadeth licks I had learned. When I got big into grunge music, I traded that guitar for a Telecaster. I don't see the big deal with Tele's, though a lot of guitar players will probably dislike me for saying that.

I took lessons for a while, but I foolishly told my teacher that I didn't care about the theory, I just wanted to play some songs. I wasted years learning to play music by tablature, which only worsened after I got hooked up to the internet. Somewhere along the line I decided to ask for an acoustic guitar for Christmas. I got a cheap Ibanez Cimar. I loved the sound at first touch. The only problem was none of the songs I knew really 'fit' the tone of an acoustic. I had to expose myself to new music. I learned some Dave Matthews Band songs, and used to jam out with Dave, sometimes with another Dave. I fell into a DMB rut for a while, playing nothing but their songs for a while. I got pretty damned good at it, though. It's pretty hard. Eventually, I got bored with playing the same stuff all the time, and I put down the guitar. For a few months, I never touched a guitar.

A friend broke me out of my rut my introducing me to the music of Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. Immediately, I was hooked. I fell in love with the banjo, the bass, the bluegrass, the funk. If you've never heard them before, I highly recommend giving them a serious listening to. It is music that will engage your attention, whether you want it to or not. Seriously, Bela Fleck can make a crowded audience completely silent. He is the best banjo picker alive, if not the best ever. That opinion aside, I decided then and there that I wanted to be like him- I wanted to have total mastery of my instrument, and music in general. I picked up the acoustic again, and starting playing with a different intent.

I started to try different approaches towards playing. I would play a lot of wimpy one string melodies, trying in vain to unravel that mystery. I found something out- There is absolutely no discernible quality of science to melody- there is no formula for a good one. It was something that I had a really hard time getting my head around. I never saw myself as a creative person, I always viewed myself as a strictly left-brained person, for some reason. I thought that everything existed for a rational reason, easily explained by science, and I could almost always sort it out by logic alone. Now, here was something that I couldn't rely on some resource to tell me the answer, it had to come from within. I had to drop my guard, and contemplate the notion of faith. That realization was a turning point. An atheist for most of my life, I had to accept the idea that maybe there is a chance that God could explain things. I'm straying from my point- Melody is a bitch, and you will struggle to find logic at it's core. A good melody just is.

I began to explore harmony and rhythm, and learned to play well without a pick. I would write songs by noodling around until I stumbled on a melody that sounded good, then I would build on those notes, starting out playing the melody with simple chords until I found a rhythm that 'fit'. That is when the fun starts. The difference, to me, between good music and bad music is the amount of meaningful relationships between notes that you can incorporate into a song. I can't define what I mean by 'meaningful relationships between notes', as I don't know much about theory. I could feel it, though, and once that feeling set in, the idea of playing guitar receeded to my subconscious. It is something that baffles me- when I play guitar now, I no longer have to think to myself "I need to put these fingers here, and play these notes, in this order." When I'm playing, my fingers cease to be fingers and become automatons, as if they have an intelligence of their own, Sometimes when I watch them while I play, I can't believe that the dance they do is a product of my mind. But I know that the dance is really mine, because the fingers play whatever sound I will them to. I have read about people who internalize the playing process, it's quite common, but I didn't expect it to actually happen to me. I can't help but wonder if it might have something to do with my realization that God might be in control of more than I give him(her, it?) credit for.

It's been 12 years since I started to play guitar, and only in the past year or two have I felt that I'm at the skill level I should be at. I play, on average, about 2 hours a day. Some days it's more like 6 or 7 hours, other days it's just a few seconds, if at all. I never put it down without feeling like I have gained something. There are days when I am just in a groove and great music just happens, and there are days when inspiration just does not strike. I have taught myself a lot, and I am continually excited by the idea that I will never be able to know everything about it. Learn an instrument! It is fun and therapeutic, and you will be a better person because of it.

To any newbie musicians out there, I want to give a little advice-

• Don't get stuck on theory. Music is expression, and you can know everything about music theory and still make music that sucks. Knowing some theory is probably a good thing, though.


• Practice is important, but you can't force it. If you are playing and your attention is elsewhere, put the instrument down until you really want to play it again. You can improve your playing by playing half-heartedly, but you will be better off playing when you can focus on it.


• Play with other people. You can learn a lot this way, both about the people and music.


• Once you've learned a song, learn it again. Find different ways to play it, transpose it, play it with different rhythms, build off chords, arpeggiate, play with effects pedals, whatever. Just don't play it the same way twice, ever. You will be amazed at how far you can go while retaining the feel of the song.


• Unless you are prodigal genius, it's going to be hard at first. At first might mean months, or it could be years(as it was for me), depending on the instrument and natural proclivity for music(if applicable =). Keep at it, and you will get good.


• Learn to play within your limitations. I have crooked pinkies, and there are some stretches I just cannot make on the guitar, so I have to find another path. Music is flexible, and so are you.


• Don't think about it too much. You will find that if you just let go and melt into the music, you will gain much more as a result.


• This one sounds ridiculous, but it's important- Form a relationship with your instrument. Get to know it inside and out. Be familiar with it's tone, and explore ways to exploit it's uniqueness. Get in tune with it(no pun intended), and you will find that it does have a personality.


• If you are planning on being in an orchestra some day, being able to sight read is necessary. If not, don't bother. Try to learn stuff by ear, and use sheet music or tablature as a last resort. And as for any sheet music or tablature you find online, be skeptical- 99% of it is wrong. Use it as a framework for figuring it out yourself rather than taking it as verbatim.


• Most importantly - Be unorthodox. Fuck convention. Never let someone tell you that you have to play something a certain way, because I'm telling you right now, you can play it any way you like. You will never grasp music on a deeper level if you never reach that realization. It's what you make of it.